When God wants to get a message to us, he does. The same message comes to me in music, my devotional, my readings, sermons, last night… my small church group, and then this morning a text message from a friend through her daily devotion. When God wants us to know something, he doesn’t give up! It gives me goosebumps thinking of it.
Were almost halfway through a 6 week series of “the rock” at church. Where are we putting our faith, our trust, building our foundation for our life? It takes finding what is fooling us and replacing it with the truth. The ultimate fool is knowing without doing. Knowing the truth, knowing what we should be doing, but letting something fool us and give us a short lived happy. It feels so good though right? Or maybe it just feels right, like all the stars are aligning and it is meant to be kinda good feeling. Does it align up with the truth found in the bible though? If not, Satan is fooling you. We’re usually fooled by the same thing over and over. Satan knows our buttons and he pushes them. We all face it, even those that are able endure the temptation and turn away from it. And this is where the foundation of truth comes in. Are you are solid in the truth, solid on the rock? Or do you fall for this foolish thing and crumble in the sand?
The amazing part of this story. The best part actually. Everyone has the chance to live on God’s solid truth. Everyone, no matter what their past, has the opportunity to be there. It may be a hard road. It may seem impossible at times… but it isn’t. It is never impossible to repent, and turn the other way. The peace that comes. The joy that comes is beyond words worth it.
My ex husband used to look at me at times and say “I feel like everything is right in our lives, things are amazing. We are headed in the right direction.” And he was always right. We both had this sense of inner peace. Life was pretty perfect. But then things would get hard again, and we would lean on the false sense of pride from the world. Our foundation would crumble for a while. With time things would feel good again and he would say the same wonderful things to me about how happy he was and how great life was. And we bumped along like this for years….
Today I was driving home from work with this same inner peace feeling and enjoying the fall colors surrounding me. I was listening to music and praying. And it dawned on me, this inner peace feeling is me now. When I was unemployed and didn’t even have a job yet, I had it. When the school called due to issues with my child, I had it. When I walked into a mess in the house, I had it. This inner peace is a part of me. It’s living with myself grounded in the truth. Having trust that I will be okay, that God has my life under control for where he wants me has completely changed my life. Most of all I am calm. Every fiber of me is calm. Being calm means I am relaxed. This means I find useful words to use when I am having a serious conversation. Being calm and relaxed and using useful words means I don’t live in guilt. Guilt is a thing of my past. I kinda want to say that again. Guilt is a thing of my past…. that sure feels good. I don’t want to forget the time of guilt though, it has helped to shape me into who I am today. I don’t want to lessen that time in guilt because I truly think, God took that ugly and used it to make good.
All of these messages lately about the rock, seeking him, identifying what fools me, and ruthlessly replacing it with the truth is a reminder to me. It is a reminder of how far I have come. It is God telling me to stay the course, don’t let the sins of my ex (Fishy) and my old best friend (Mingo) de-rail me. Don’t let their sins become my sins.
There was a time that Fishy and Mingo could derail me in an instant. She had this amazing ability to speak so sweetly while lying so harshly. Playing the “poor me” card when , well honestly, there was nothing poor or innocent about the game she was playing. Fishy was swell at playing the victim card and having me walk away from a situation feeling like I was the one messing up. But I knew in my heart that I had every right to hurt. Every right to be upset. Golly, I had every right to be mad if I wanted. Yet, their actions had me feeling guilty at the end of the night from these feelings. I felt guilty waiting for my ex for months past the finality of the divorce. Yet the truth… what I should have been doing, what I absolutely do not regret doing, was waiting. What I didn’t realize at the time was the sin of feeling guilty. I wasn’t trusting God’s truth. I was relying on the opinion of two people that had betrayed me, and done some of the most unthinkable things to a friend, wife, mom, and a bunch of kids. Their actions are not the truth found in the bible. My self worth and my foundation was being fooled because it was found in their opinion of me. Satan had to have been laughing hysterically! He had all three of us!
Over time though, looking back, I see how it has been a gift from God. He guided me to ruthlessly replace what was fooling me with what is true. And in turn, I have gained peace. The true inner peace that has stood within me through a lot. What once rocked me, is just another day now.