Enjoy the little things, apparently my mantra this last year. I hadn’t realized how much I said it until I got a gift from my daughter for Christmas. It was a picture of her, her brother, and I with those words. One of my favorite gifts. (My absolute favorite book that she filled in every page with inspiring messages about me, her, us. Ya… It made me cry!) But more-so because I realized that I am changing their future for the better…. one small change at a time, one day at a time with positivity in all things.
Looking back over the last few years, the changes felt small. Sometimes useless, sometimes not even changing. But the small things have truly become the big things in life. There was a time I would have never spoken openly about God, or faith. Now it’s my go to in all circumstances. So much that I get the typical eye roll from my youngest son (the teenager). But deep inside, I know it’s encouraging to him. Deep down in his heart, my strong faith, and my okey dokey attitude when things do not go as planned because I announce that “God must have a different plan”…. A foundation is being formed.
If I could go back and take away the years of panic, yelling, and fear in so many things I truly had no control of, I would. But not because I regret them for the two kids still living with me. See, these two kids have had the opportunity to watch change happen. Watch trials become Triumph. They have watched me screw up, and overcome it with God. That is a gift beyond any gift I can give my children. Trials come… hard times hit us all. Even simple things like exhaustion from motherhood, long days at work, or things just not going our way. Life is hard. The biggest message I want my children to take home from my life is that it is so much easier to rely on someone bigger… God, and then trust. I hope they can see what a difference true faith has made in my life. So why would I go back and take the years of panic away? For the two kids not living with me, for the ex-husband that hates me to his core. They haven’t been given the opportunity to know me now. And I hate the thought that their memory of me is what I was. But this, I leave up to God… because that is what faith is.
So remember, it may be hard right now, it may be great right now. But enjoy the little things, because when you look back… they were the big things.