My Children 2015

I have four children.  I will always have four children.  For ten years I was the mother of four children and this divorce has not changed that in my heart, mind, or spirit at all.

Teal, 18 years old.  Beautiful inside and out.  She is my biological daughter born from a previous marriage.  I was young, immature, and quite literally stupid.  We married at the local courthouse for all the wrong reasons.  We had one beautiful year together and then Teal came along.  Our lives went in two drastic different directions and the marriage ended.  Looking back, God was never a apart of that marriage…. we didn’t even think to invite him in.  Teal currently attends the local community college, lives at home, and is truly my best friend.  She loves so honestly.  It’s been fun to watch her faith and love in Jesus grow through this journey as well.

Green, 16 years old.  The most giving and selfless kid I have ever known.  He is biologically Fishy’s child.  Yes, he was married once before as well….. I wont speak of their marriage because it’s none of my business, but I will say, History has repeated itself in my marriage to this man and I admire and love Green and Purple’s biological mother for all of her strength.  For a year I rarely saw this boy of mine.  I missed him dearly.  He was not really permitted to see me.  He was fed lies about me that I was abusive and why would he want to see me.  He was a difficult teen, I was a strict mom.  But I was not an abusive mom. And all discipline choices came from both his dad and I, never me alone.  I did what everyone said, keep loving him even from afar and he will see the truth.  He did.  I remember the first time he willingly came to my house October 18th, 2014 (10 months since he had left with his dad).  I cried such happy tears after he left.  It was a short visit- but he came.  It took a month before he showed up again, then again, and again.  Now he answers my texts, visits when he can, and calls me mom…. oh you have no idea how good that feels when you go a year without hearing it from your child!!!

Purple, 14 years old. She is my husbands biological child as well, she was two when we got together.  I haven’t had much contact with her in the last two years since this ordeal started, so sadly I don’t know a lot about her personality.  She was a cuddly one always wanting to be with one of us adults.  She loved to dance, sing, and repeat funny quotes.  This girl could memorize any song in a matter of minutes!  She currently lives with her and Jake’s mom in another town, when she visits locally she spends time with dad.  I’m okay with that, I have to be okay with that.  But it sure doesn’t mean I don’t miss her…. quite the opposite!  I am okay with that because I love her so much, and I realize sometimes we have to let those we love make choices for them even when it removes us from the picture.  I know, without a doubt, that someday I will be a part of her life again.  God promises me that on a daily basis.  So like with her brother, I love her from afar.

Orange 12 years old.  He is biologically my child.  He is brutally honest, sees the world in black and white, and smart as a whip!  He has struggled socially since… well, probably forever.  We have struggled with pulling him in and out of school trying to balance his need for academics vs social skills.  He is currently in school and thriving in the special ed department.  Orange was really close to his dad and loved spending time with his grandpa before this crisis.  Currently he wont even visit with his dad, ignores all of his messages, and has no kind words for his dad… like I said before, very black and white.

Weathering the storm- one day at a time